We had a sweet night with Ford tonight. We have wanted to give Ford the opportunity to talk about Rachel or process his visit while it's fresh on his mind, if he wants to, never to force him to do so. Liz Kaufmann suggested we might do "art therapy" with him to help him process the visit. So, God gave me the idea of making a book, with the whole family, of our "Los Angeles trip." (Hilarious side note - Ford started calling Los Angeles "Alex City" for some reason. L.A. and sweet little Alex City, AL aren't exactly the same, but it warmed our hearts to hear him shout as he looked at the skyscrapers of L.A. out the car window, "Ook at Alex City, Mom and Dad!") Anyway, I developed all of the pics from our trip - ice skating, spending the night with Lisa and Harrison, fun at the Santa Monica Pier, and the visit with Rachel. I used to make books like this with my 1st grade class. So, Ford and Milly dictated what I should write under each photo, which I had taped on card stock. They then taped an "emotions face" that I had made by each picture, expressing how they felt in those pictures. One picture was of Ford and me on a roller coaster over the Pacific Ocean at the Santa Monica pier. Crazy, huh? But, our dare devil actually said he was a little "scared" on the "up and down hill" part, so we put a scared face on that page. So, here is what he said when we got to the pictures of our time with Rachel: "Thank you, Aunt Rachel, for the Hot Wheels thing and my monster jammies. " On the next page, there was a picture of just Ford and Rachel. We didn't get them to pose for this. I just snapped a candid while they were waiting for Milly to get in the picture with them. So, this is what Ford said for how he was feeling in this picture: "I am mad." So, I listened and waited and then asked, "Do you know why you are mad?" He couldn't articulate it at first. I then asked again, "Do you know why your heart is mad about this picture?" He said, "Because I don't like Rachel." Me: "Okay. (Pause) Do you know why you don't like her?" Ford couldn't come up with an answer at first, but then he so tenderly said, "Because I like Mama and Daddy." Wow. I had to hold back the tears. That made sense. He is soooo sweet, and Stephen and I both melted as we heard him say this. Ford then added, "And I like Ginnylu and Daisy (Lisa and Harrison's adorable daughters) and Jo Jo (his new nickname for Virginia Grace) and Milly." He then proceeded to place the "mad face" on top of Rachel's face. "I want to put it over Rachel's face. I don't want any more pictures of Rachel." Stephen said, "I like Rachel. I like Emmy, too (Rachel's friend that was in one of the pictures from the visit)." I wanted to give him the freedom to feel how was feeling and yet speak highly of Rachel like Stephen had done, so I said gently said, "Ford, it's okay to not like Rachel." And a little later I added, "Rachel is a wonderful lady." Stephen and I want to communicate to Ford that he is ALWAYS our son and we are ALWAYS his Mama and Daddy and he will never leave us, in case he might be wondering if Rachel will ever be his mother someday. I don't know what he was thinking or is thinking, but we need to make sure that he knows he will NEVER leave our family. He knows our incredible DEEP love for him and we know his deep love for us. We love our little miracle. So, please pray for him as he is processing a lot right now. And pray for us to have wisdom. If you have any suggestions on how we should follow up with what he said tonight, please email me your thoughts. We are seeking wise counsel:) We don't want to talk about the visit much more or overdo it. Just want to do and say as the Spirit leads.
Thanks again for walking this journey with us, for reading my processing thoughts about all of this, and for LOVING our buddy Ford!
B
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