Sunday, December 19, 2010

The Gift of Our Adoption - Our Visit Went Well

Well, our visit with Ford's birthmother, Rachel, was good and hard. Thank you all for your prayers. We felt carried by them, for sure. God was present with each one of us. HE gave Ford, Rachel, and us strength. He even moved in Milly's heart at the end of the visit to blow Rachel a kiss, which then Ford followed with his tender "blowing her a kiss." It was all sort of surreal.
Ford was shy at first, understandably so, and Rachel was so understanding and was respectful of him and us the whole time. He warmed up as he rode his bike without training wheels down a big grassy hill (he has no fear), with his Daddy running by his side. He even began looking back at Rachel and me to make sure we were watching:) Rachel so generously poured gifts on Ford, Milly, and Virginia Grace as well as "Mom and Dad", as she strategically wrote on the outside of our gift, I think as a way to respectfully say to us, "YOU are His mama and daddy." The gifts were so thought out - cozy boy PJs for Ford, which he hugged tightly after opening them and which he wore them the next 2 nights in a row, matching outfits in the right sizes for Milly and VG, the coolest Hot Wheels case and Hot Wheels for Ford, and an academic puzzle and about 20 academic CDs and DVDs for him (she is a part-time Kindergarten aid, and her teacher created this CD/DVD series for learning to read, which she was so excited to give Ford). She obviously cares so much for him, and wants to be a part of his academic development. She also gave Milly a praying doll, that prays when its hands touch together, and Virginia Grace a cuddly caterpillar. She gave Stephen and me four Christmas books to read to the kiddos. Thoughtful beyond belief. Rachel let us know this visit that she is on welfare, has no health insurance, and she and her 5 children (all from her ex-husband) were "homeless for 4 months." Their apartment building got foreclosed, so the 6 of them had to split up. Her oldest two sons, Gabriel, 19, and Jonathan, 18, went to live with their grandmother (her ex-husband's mom), who takes them to church with her :) , and she and her 3 daughters, Sarah, 16, Rebekah, 15, and Hannah, 13, lived with different friends for those 4 months. Now the 3 girls and Rachel are renting 1 room in a friend's house. It is so sobering to hear all of this from this precious woman who so selflessly chose to give her child to our family. Rachel told me that Michael, Ford's birthfather, and she had a falling out and haven't spoken since January. Michael got married and has a newborn daughter. Michael did ask Rachel to let her know when Bethany Christian Services contacted her about our next visit, but Rachel's computer crashed and she lost all of his contact info. I am comforted to know that he does want to keep up with Ford, even if it is just through letters and pictures. Rachel doesn't have a car, so her best friend, Emmy, drove her and was a sweet part of our visit. So, Emmy, Rachel, Stephen, and I held hands in a circle of love and prayed to our Father, who adopted each one of us. After we all had said goodbye and Ford and Milly had blown their kisses, God put it on my heart to give Rachel a hug, from one Mom to another, and I had the privilege of sharing these words with her from deep within my heart: "Rachel, Stephen and I admire you so much. You are such a courageous, selfless woman, and we can never thank you enough for choosing to preserve Ford's life and for giving him to us." Tears were filling my eyes, and hers, I think. We parted ways, and in the safety of my warm car, that I don't take for granted, knowing that Rachel does not have a car, the tears began streaming down my face. Ford could not see my tears, but if he had, I would have told them that they were "happy tears", as we call some tears. They were also sad tears. Happy for the indescribable gift of Ford and for the inexpressible gift of my own adoption into God's family. As my across the street 90-year-old, saint-like neighbor, Maria, always says repetitively in response to what Jesus has done for us, "Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!"
Please continue to pray for sweet Ford as he processes this past week and as he is beginning to understand his adoption. Our prayer is that he will be proud of it and see it as such a special, unique part of his story. Please also lift up Rachel and Ford's 5 half siblings, and Michael, Ford's birthfather, and his daughter/Ford's new half sister.
Many thanks for walking through this wonderful journey with us. We are grateful for each one of you, our amazing family and community. May we all understand this Christmas the amazing grace of our own adoption into God's family. Ford's precious, miraculous life reminds us of that daily.

"The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, 'Abba, Father.' " ~Romans 8:15

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Easter

Easter
Virginia Grace Phelan

Disneyland Magical FUN!

Disneyland Magical FUN!
Our first night at Downtown Disney

They loved the Dumbo ride.

Best Buddies

Pooped!

Milly bravely sat in the front with Daddy. Ford was "hands up" and Milly was "digging fingernails into Daddy's leg."

Mama and Daddy were just as excited.

Mickey was the biggest hit.

Ford and Milly kept saying, "I'm so excited!" I wonder who says that a lot around our house?

Easter's 1st Portrait (Sonogram)

"We're ready for another Phelan munchkin to join our circus!"

Proud Big Brother

Happy Big Sis (check out those wild curls after bathtime:) )

Fatherly Ford

Not-So-Motherly Milly

Ford feeding the babies lettuce and tomato